Confessions IV

I’m writing this one because.. Well,.. The thing is..

I fell ok? Off the stairs and bleeded a lil.. It hurt a lot and I had a nasty cut. But who would care?..

That’s when I asked myself for the first time ever since it happened.. Is it really worth it?

Why am I doing this still? Why do I always end up doing the same things that got me in trouble in the first place?..

Instead of keep trying to fix my relationship with them, why don’t I just stop ruining it?

I learned few things in life..

Now I’m not that old and I’m nothing of a wise girl.. But life had a twisted sick means of education with me.

A) For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction

Newton’s third law of motion.. God knows I’ve always hated Newton.

So when we act, someone will react.. That’s, of couse, only if they found out.

And there’s also that pretty lil, And sadly limited,  thing called forgiveness.

Ever thought of what will happen when you run out of it?

B) As a human, I’m a slave of my desires.

Of what I want. Not what I need.

I wanted to be loved, So everything else was second.. My studies, My job, My future, My family, My father… My father.. My father..

Let me tell you a lil about my father, He.. Well, How should I put this..

Let’s just say that the most super fun and interesting things I’ve ever done in my life, I did them with my father..

Now he might not be a secret agent, a celeberty or a secretly super powered guy..

But he’s just awesome.. ok?

He taught me how to put pieces of a gun together and load it.. He got me a complete military outfit even tho it made mom  go crazy, yelling SHE’S A GURRRLLL!! But he did it anyways cause he knew I loved army prints.

And he was the only one to ride a roller coaster with me.. And rode it again.. And again… Even tho it made him sick and throwing up.. Only cause I wanted to..

When I was in college, he’d say “Here’s my doctor” evertime he sees me getting downstairs in my uniform in the morning..

And when I ask for something.. He’d say  ”But it’s not necessary and I don’t have time and .. and …”

But he would always come back with what I asked for in the evening..

Then he smiles and says “It hurts to say no to you”..

He used to talk in british accent just to annoy me..

I can keep writing about him forever.. But buttom line is.. He rocks..

C) Nothing at all hurts more than seeing a disappointment look on you’re dad’s eyes.

No heartbreak.. No lost love.. No nothing..

Confession:

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.. But I’ve never regretted them.. Because they all helped me becoming the person I am..

But the only thing I regret is losing the one that loves me the most. And if I ever got him back. I would never do anything that wouldn’t make him smile.. And I will make him proud.

If he’d ever read this. I want him to know that I love him.. And I’ll make up for what I did even if i spent my whole life trying.

Advertisement