Confessions I

 This is an email I’ve written to a group of friends not so long ago.

I wrote alot but I consider this email as one of the best emails I’ve written so far..

I did some editions so make it less personal…

 

(…

1- One of my favorite tracks is “Nobody Knows” by pink.
Well, that’s not quit true..

everybody can and will know..
No lies are believed forever.
No secrets are hidden forever.
And No promises are kept forever.

No matter how Important or not, harmful or not, dirty or not..
it’s just a matter of time before everyone know.
And that’s a fact we tend to forget, and/or realize very late.

There are many reasons why we lie..
The most common are we either want to protect ourselves, protect someone we love, or both.

But no matter how strong these reasons might be..
when we are busted, the only one who cares about those reasons is us!.
No one else listens nor cares to know.
For them, we lied, and THAT’S THAT.

And what hurts the most is when you find yourself giving all the reasons and explanations.. except the real one.
only so someone else wouldn’t get hurt.
In that situation, you realize that you will lose either the one you lied to, or the one you’re trying to protect, it’s your choice who to lose.
or in worst cases both.
but in a classic scenario, you’ll find yourself making the choice that will cause less pain for yourself, less guiltness, less self-hate.

 

2- Life has an ironically strange way in mocking us.
I’ll give you all an example..

I had a friend, whome I really loved, even called a sister, and she was.. to a certain extend.

And whome I’ve lied to, and no matter how strong my reasons were, or seemed to be, I still lied, and that’s that.

I’ve lost that friend, who is living in another country, and less than 48 hours after I lost her, I received an sms from my service provider telling me that I have now free international sms for 7 days.
I looked stupidly long at that sms.. thinking about the irony of the situation.

When someone leaves you, it’s either because they are hurt, or cruel, and may god help you if it was both.

 

3- Betraying is the worst type of pains ever.
We all say that. but sadly enough we all betry.
I have betryed, And I have been betryed.

to be hurt is something we can overcome with time.
but to know that you’ve caused that same pain to someone else is unbearable, atleast for those of us who still have a living heart.

(conclusion: sometimes you find yourself forced to betry, sometimes you think you are forced to betry, and the worst times is when you force yourself to betry)

 

4- The worst feeling is when you find yourself lost between someone you love and someone that loves you.

So in the previous statement I assure you that two people will be hurt and not one.

Human are weak creatures..
we want something sure.. something secure.. something constant.. something permanent.

but we can’t live against our hearts, then we find ourselves throwing away something so valuable, for a little bit of heart satisfaction.

does it worth it?
I think I’ll quote Dr.2th’s famous answer and say “Yes… and No!”

(conclusion: nothing is permanent..
no family.. no friends.. no love.. no feelings.. no life .. nothing at all is permanent, and as soon as we realize that.. and start thinking of everyone and everything as a “lostable object”
maybe .. just maybe we will be happier).

…)

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